I’m still here.

Morello | Orange Is The New Black
Morello | Orange Is The New Black

I’ve been trying to come up with a blog post that isn’t reflective, sentimental, and/or depressing. I wish I could write that I’ve done amazing things since the last time I posted here, but I can’t. I haven’t done a lot of reading or writing. My health hasn’t gotten better, but it hasn’t gotten worse, either. My sleep is still screwed up. I watch more TV than I’d like to admit, but I only spend a fraction of the time I used to online.

I’ve been an anti-social hermit. I miss Linda.

Today I went through my old blog and read some posts I wrote ten years ago. When I first started blogging, I was 29 years old. I had opinions and I was busy. Now, I’m 41 years old and I’m tired. I’m tired and I don’t give as much of a shit as I used to. But I suppose that’s what getting older and closer to death is all about. So it goes, c’est la vie.

But I’m still here. Where are you?

Sweet dreams, why do you elude me?

I’m back to writing on a daily basis, but I get distracted too easily. So I’ve installed a site-blocking extension on my browser. Again. I’m also toying with the idea of taking a month off from the Internet. E-mail only. No Netflix, Hulu Plus, Reddit, social media, or trashy blogs. My birthday is around the corner. I’m thinking maybe a Internet-fast would be a great way to start my 41st year?

What else? My sleep patterns are improving. I think I’m learning how to trick my body into being awake during the day. I’m still only sleeping between 2 – 4 hours at a time, though. I’ve had disturbing dreams the last few nights. The kind of dreams that you’re unable to shake when you wake up. Sweet dreams, why do you elude me? I wish you’d show up in my head every once in awhile.

a small update and other adjustments

I’ve finally updated my documentaries page. I’m loving the shit out of the new Childish Gambino album. My energy level sucks, but my sleep patterns have recently improved. My caffeinated soda consumption dramatically decreased after I got a SodaStream for Christmas, but now I’m drinking more vodka. I meditate (to some degree) every day. There is one dead and one that might as well be; lately I’ve been thinking about my losses more than I should.

New Year, New Layout

(I thought I’d try out a cleaner blog template, so here it is.)

For 2014, I have no resolutions or wishes for a better year, because these things never come to fruition. Last year was about loss, then hibernation for me. What’s in store for me in the year to come? I’m not going to wonder or worry about it; I will just keep on keepin’ on because at this point in my life, that’s really all I can do.

A few things I started and didn’t finish

I’m not quite sure what happened, but my cat is finally covering her mess with litter. Did she figure out my toilet-training plan? Because of these recent developments, I’ve abandoned the training. Problem solved!

Now, I’m trying to get myself to finish reading one of the books I’ve started. I’ve been spending too much time watching paranormal TV shows. My sinuses have been bothering me and all I want to do is sleep. Blah!

Oh Kitty, I have a new place for you to go…

I’ve decided to toilet train my cat. Or, I should say, I’m going to try to toilet train her. (Not exciting news, I know, but I figure I’m more likely to follow through with it if I write a blog post about it.)

I’ve gone back and forth on the idea for awhile now. I’ve wondered, how much of a hassle is involved? Will my cat go for it? Is a litter box better for my cat? But it comes down to this: I’m sick of having kitty litter scattered all over my bathroom floor and I’m tired of my condo smelling like cat shit because Miss Hanna Boo Boo Kitty won’t cover up her toxic turds. Training her to go in the toilet is definitely worth a try.

First, I need to slowly raise her litter box so that she’s used to jumping up to do her nasty business. Next week I’ll order a toilet training kit for Phase II. Because I don’t want her to struggle with balancing on the seat, I’m also getting a little kid potty seat so she can have more space.

Yes, this is going to be a bit inconvenient for both myself and my cat. According to my research, the whole process should take about three weeks. That’s okay, though. If I’m successful, it will all be worth it. If she eventually takes a dump in water instead of litter, you can’t even imagine how fucking thrilled I will be.